Do not open until Christmas

Christmas is upon us and so are the holiday highlights of the WTF?! crowd. Take this winner... I mean victim for example. Exactly how does this work? She let her kids play near the gas tank when she kicked them outside so she could watch her stories in peace? I bet she gave them some matches and opened the gas door hoping New Year's Eve fireworks would come early this year.

To bad the "To:" and "From:" aren't filled out. That way Santa would know who's house to skip (again) this year.New

Throw a dog a bone

Someone explain this to me. Are they drowning? Out for a swim? Doggie paddling? If you need to break out the crayons and construction paper, I'll wait. All I can figure out on my own is that it's a cupcake cake (which is the devil) and the dogs are actually keychains. Other than that, I'm lost.

Thanks in advance for your help! As a reward, I'll give you the pick of the litter.

Never too early to start Christmas shopping

60% of the time it works *every* time

It's ... It's... like a generic version of Sex Panther on clearance at Wal-Mart. Plus it looks like it's been around that gigolo block a time or three. I am willing to bet money this stuff was outlawed in 1982 because of serious side effects such as: abnormal chest hair growth, delusional thought of being able to eat everything in sight and not gain a pound, yellow finger/toe nails, innie belly button becomes an outtie, and the urge to wear Crocs shoes.

No doubt this stuff also smells like diesel fuel mixed with burnt hair, but the box claims the "sole purpose is to attract women. At will. More than usual." HOW can any man go wrong with a promise like that?! I'm not sure how long this will last, guys, better get to your local Wal-Mart and ask for this sex in a bottle by name. You can thank me later. *growl*

Nothing to see here people

Sure there isn't. Not one thing to see. It's normal to walk by a truck in a Wal-Mart parking lot and see a male mannequin in the bed along with the other junk they are collecting.



Makes me wish I could see the crap they don't carry around with them. Maybe they are trying out to be on A&E's "Hoarders".

Moar personalized plates

Oh how I adore thee, personalized plates. You never cease to amaze me with what people think is okay to have on the back of their car as a representation of themselves. Take this one, for instance. Exactly what in the hell does that mean?

You went to the University of Louisiana and graduated with a BEE average?

Congrats, to you Lexus driver. You stumped me. I assure you it won't happen again.

Shotgun!

I don't think the proper words to describe this post have been invented yet. The fact the person driving that vehicle had the idea to have the Marlboro man outline put on her (yes, a woman) window is one thing; to follow through on that idea is something else entirely. Was she simply advertising to the entire world that she has a serious crush on the cigarette icon or just wanted to hopefully get away with riding in the HOV lane with only one person int he car... the world may never know.

This is a beauty pagent and I am judging

Why would anyone want to do this? Just because you drive a Firebird doesn't mean you strip it of what little dignity it has by putting a damn Firebird decal on the hood. If someone drove a GTO would they have to have a Goat decal put on the hood to balance it out? I think not.

The fact this is so beyond stereotypical made me stop in the middle of a parking lot, back up and snap a picture. I wasn't able to see the other side of the car but I'm pretty sure there's a few dozen spit cups, a dog hanging out the window and a child chained to the muffler. Wait, no, the owner obviously loves that car so they wouldn't damage it. Maybe the dog is chained to the child. That would make more sense.