Throw a dog a bone

Someone explain this to me. Are they drowning? Out for a swim? Doggie paddling? If you need to break out the crayons and construction paper, I'll wait. All I can figure out on my own is that it's a cupcake cake (which is the devil) and the dogs are actually keychains. Other than that, I'm lost.

Thanks in advance for your help! As a reward, I'll give you the pick of the litter.

Never too early to start Christmas shopping

60% of the time it works *every* time

It's ... It's... like a generic version of Sex Panther on clearance at Wal-Mart. Plus it looks like it's been around that gigolo block a time or three. I am willing to bet money this stuff was outlawed in 1982 because of serious side effects such as: abnormal chest hair growth, delusional thought of being able to eat everything in sight and not gain a pound, yellow finger/toe nails, innie belly button becomes an outtie, and the urge to wear Crocs shoes.

No doubt this stuff also smells like diesel fuel mixed with burnt hair, but the box claims the "sole purpose is to attract women. At will. More than usual." HOW can any man go wrong with a promise like that?! I'm not sure how long this will last, guys, better get to your local Wal-Mart and ask for this sex in a bottle by name. You can thank me later. *growl*